All stories on this page were written by Jon Sanders (Me) and I retain all rights to them.
Copyright 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014
I Don't Know How Long
It has been a very long time since my last entry, my first entry. I say a very long time but since I have no way of knowing how much time has passed I can not be sure. I attempted to count the number of times I have paced around the table but I am easily distracted and forget what I am doing or why. You ask what could possibly distract me in this room. My answer is my own thoughts. If there is any way of marking time it can only be by the number of thoughts I have had. I have contemplated what the purpose of this life could be. I have thought of all the things I could do if I wasn't here. That was a longer thought than you may think. How far is up? Is there such a place as other?
Why does my foot itch? Am I the maker of all? Am I God? Okay. Now even you think I am crazy. But prove me wrong. Prove that I didn't start with this room and now I am deciding what is next. Maybe I need to decide what will be beyond what I now see. Maybe I need to create dark. Maybe up beyond here has no end until I give it one. And if I create the end of anything doesn't that in itself create a beginning? In that case doesn't absolute nothing after the end constitute something? And if I am God how could I be trapped here? But I am no god. If I was God..., or should that be a god? A god implies more than one. Where are the others? How many others? If there are more gods then does that really make us just ordinary people? What is ordinary? As far as I know I am ordinary. I am average. If I am the only person I can never be more.
It has been at least one hundred times around the table since my last entry. It took a very special effort of concentration to count that far. I did have to restart a number of times. I was distracted by numbers and math. Where did the name for the number three come from and why did four not come first. Would three plus seven still equal ten if three was first and seven was second? If you randomly change the names for each number the value for the number would still be the same...I think. One time I thought just how far away I would be if I took all these steps in a straight line. That led to what is a line? If every point on a line is a separate and distinct place how could they be connected to make a line? If a line randomly curves is it still a line between two points? If not shouldn't we call it something else? Do you see the distraction? Every thought leads to another. But wait. Maybe the trick is to not think. Try to empty my mind of any type of thought. But then again, does time here stop when there is no thought? What is time? Isn't it just a convenient way to distinguish one moment from another? And what is now? It's a general term because it is over before you have the time to even think it. Have I made the point yet of the distraction of thought? I'll get back to you later on that. But not this later which to you may still seem like the now that never is. Right.
I don't know how long it is since my last entry. I tried being silent inside and out. It is so much harder than you think. It is not something you can think about doing because then you are not silent. You can't tell yourself how to be silent or to stop thinking about thinking. The silence must be complete. I did finally do it but the difficulty is enormous. It gets so quiet you can hear the blood pulsing with your heart beating, but you cannot think about hearing it. Thinking, even though it is silent on the outside, is noise on the inside. But the silence makes it even harder to mark any passage of time. Marking time is thought. I would say try it but I still do not have any way of knowing that there is a you, separate from me.
I am not sure but I believe I fell asleep. It was quite relaxing but when I woke I was left wondering what I had missed. If I am all there is, is it possible to miss anything? The only thing I could miss would be my own thoughts. Wait! What was that? Was that a sound not made by me? Let me investigate.
I know I am not alone, at least I think I know. Either I am not alone or I am making up sounds... or something is making sounds. I have yet to figure out where the noise comes from. It seems to be from... beyond? It isn't constant, or loud, or repeating or rhythmic. But I know it is not from me because one time it happened while I was talking aloud to myself. And it is hard to determine what direction it is from. That may be because the room is round or because it moves. I tried using the chair as a reference but the noise is too random and short. I thought maybe it was an echo, but that turned into a long contemplation of how I would know what an echo was or if I had ever heard one to know. Was it just from repeating things or or or or was was was was it just just just me me me. The random ideas keep interrupting my thought.
I have decided to inspect the walls more closely. I believe I have found a line or maybe even a seam. I am sitting here facing it and am afraid to look away in fear that it may disappear. It is about the length of my arm. It is extremely faint. I wonder if I am imagining it. I see it but it has no feel. The wall and floor have the exact same feel. Or is that lack of feel? They are extremely smooth and no sense of hot or cold comes from them. I have even tried hitting them but feel no pain from it nor any real impact. Maybe it isn't
This was as far as I got but I think there will be more.
This is a common theme of mine. We're all one big experiment. Some of us know it...some of us don't. But the experiment continues whether you know it or not.
“… And so we have to ask the question. How would we change things if we could be there and know what all the effects of each of our choices are? “ He stopped and took a sip from the glass of water they had placed on the podium for him. This was as much to wet his mouth as it was to look at the faces in front of him. He judged each of their reactions to see which of them not only understood but had a true concern.
The experiment would have real consequences. Not for any of them. That was what all but a few thought. He had to find the balance between those that thought themselves above it and in control of it, and those that knew that every single move including these few seconds of consideration had in some minute way an effect on the experiment, the controls, the people conducting the experiment, and every choice made.
Many stories had been written about the divergence of choices. Every choice made and every other possible choice or lack thereof had actually happened. Each choice began a new reality. But they were all wrong. There were no alternate realities. Only infinite choices made on a quantum level.
There are those that believe that choice is a myth. Reality was determined in the first microsecond of existence. If any single electron of any single atom had deviated in its course the course of every other particle would have changed. But once set in motion every other reaction was determined. You, your beliefs, the car you drive, the weather outside, the very course of the planets and every galaxy were determined by the course of every single particle in existence in that first instant. Change one and…
He could not prove or disprove that one. It was one of the things that plagued him when he began to set out the plans for the experiment. At times it made him a little crazy. Was the direction and spin of particle x the determining factor of whether or not he would even begin the experiment? Just think what a lawyer would do with it. No one would be guilty. It was all destiny, predetermined by particle x and its interaction with particle y.
So now you all know, Martians are real. It’s not like the old movies Invaders from Mars or The Day the Earth Stood Still. They aren’t really even from Mars. There haven’t been any giant space ships hovering over any cities. No epic battles for domination of the planet. No Body Snatchers. Well, not exactly. No one died any unnatural deaths or had their mind taken over by a mind sucking giant brain.
But there were new people showing up and there were little green men, once. They learned right away though that that would only cause fear so they didn’t show up that way again. Some people thought this was just like the television show V though so they showed the change to let people know they actually were aliens. They didn’t care if we knew.
That was probably where it started. They could read thoughts and change to fit what they thought we expected. I guess it was good that one of the first astronauts they met was a fan of Star Trek. They had his images of what he expected or wanted aliens to look like. He was wanting them to be beautiful green women that could seduce you with a look and natural pheromones.
So that was what we got. Beautiful aliens. Not all of them were women. But they were all beautiful because they would change to fit what you liked. The difficult part was that some people wanted them to be something even they hadn’t realized. Some wanted them to look like angels, some wanted them to be Johnny Dep. Some wanted them to be something quite different. If you can think of it, someone else could too, and wanted it.
This made it so anyone that was even slightly different was suspected of being an alien.
The Last Man
Sometime during your life you probably wondered what it would be like if you could wish for anything. Someone always wishes I wish I could live forever! But what if you really could, and what if you were the only one that could. In forty years all your friends would look and act so much older. In a hundred years chances are most everyone you know will be gone. Your great grandchildren will look your age. In two hundred years you would have lost everyone you ever knew during a normal life span. You’ll have new family…maybe , but most of them won’t know what side of the family your from. In a thousand years your entire world will have changed. Will you be the only living person? Will man have spread to the stars or killed himself and the planet off? What about in a million years? You may be a freak. Man may have changed. Maybe there will be no more racial tension because the differences will have been bred out. Maybe we will all be 6 feet tall, be perfectly proportioned, olive skin and brown eyes. In twenty million years the entire planet may have been wiped out by a stray meteor. You could still be alive and not even have a planet under you. How about in fifty billion years? You’re still alive but the solar system is dying. In 500 billion years maybe you have gone insane as the very stars go out. Will you get to see another Big Bang or just go on… and on... and on. Alone.
We're here, get used to it!You can see with a few of my pieces of art that there is an alien theme that shows up a lot. I like to tell people that I'm an alien and I have shirts with different pictures of me as "Alien". That's because... I am an alien. No I can't prove it, and why would I? Area 51 is not really a galactic vacation destination. It's only where the true believers go to find us, but we won't go there again. We can tell you the truth now because none of you believe it. We don't prove it because we don't want to be experimented on or dissected. We aren't little green men. Some of us are rather large and like you we come in a variety of shades, green being only one of them. We don't stand out or at least we aren't supposed to. Mick Jagger just can't help it and David Bowie uses fame to hide. We're tricky that way. We are far far older than any of you can imagine because so many of you think you have know us since we were small. Some of you even think we are related to you. We admit to it, we deny it, we avoid the answer to it. You can't prove we aren't and we won't prove we are. Just wait 'till you get off your little rock here and see what is out there. But for now you just have to learn to live with it. We're here and we aren't going away. Just like the liberals.
Of course he knew. He not only knew how to get there but he knew how to get in. This is why he was hesitating. She didn’t look like the I.R.S. She didn’t look like your average barfly. No, she couldn’t be. If she was he was going to find out how she knew about Knotrock’s and have more than a few words with someone.
Depending on what happened in the next few minutes would determine if the words were followed by a smile or paperwork.
This girl was gorgeous. Not your usual eye candy, but drop dead gorgeous. I mean I wasn’t sure if I was going to survive if I so much as answered.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to bother you. I just got here and don’t know my way around.” she said.
I couldn’t wait any longer. She was starting to think I was missing something upstairs because of the way I was starring. “I know more than how to get there. I’ll give you ride if you like.”
She hesitated a moment. I could tell she was thinking it over, deciding if I was some crazy nut case or just wanted to be helpful. I’m sure that everyone that met her tried to be helpful. Looks like hers brought on a little too much help.
“ If it’s not too much out of your way” she said.
Who was she kidding. Had she looked in the mirror lately. The moon wasn’t out of the way for her. This was one of those girls that woke up gorgeous. What ever she wore, or didn’t, it looked great on her. The hard part was looking away. Those eyes were hypnotic. Her skin was perfect. Her hair was perfect.
“I just happen to know the owner. I think I can get you in. Do you have an appointment” I asked.
“No, but a friend told me I should go have a look.”
This girl could have all the looks she wanted. I’d show her things there that the people that run it everyday don’t know about. All she had to do was ask and the door would open.
“Follow me” I said. “My car is right over here.” I was trying to act nonchalant but when you grew up a working stiff you couldn’t help but feel a little pride in a ride like this.
“Wow” she said. “Is this a 7 series?”
“Do you know cars?” I asked. I didn’t know if this was a good sign or bad. There had been enough women over the years that made snap judgements by what people drove. She didn’t have that dollar sign look in her eyes though.
“Not really, but I’ve seen this tested on Top Gear. It’s one of my favorite shows.”
This girl... woman, was scoring big points in my book even if I was scoring a zero in hers. I opened the door and she got in. I couldn’t help checking out the legs. They were long and went as the old saying goes “all the way up”. The skirt she was wearing wasn’t real short. It still covered half her thigh, but with legs that long there was still a lot of looking to do.
Then I thought I put my foot in it, but I just couldn’t help myself. I stood there staring. I could have stood there another hour looking if she hadn’t spoke up.
“I’m in now” she said with a grin.
I stuttered “Oh... oh I’m sorry.” I quickly closed the door and tried not to run over to the drivers side to get in. I kept telling myself not to let the looks distract me. Now I had to drive and not stare while I did.
“So what did your friend tell you about Knotrock’s?” I had to find out if this was a setup or a dream. If I had to sit this close much longer I wouldn’t care.
“She said it’s an exclusive private club and that the owner was the sole judge of whether or not someone got in. The clientele are mostly the more affluent but that isn’t all that counts. Most members, though that isn’t exactly what they are since there is no membership, no dues, no meetings, formal anyways, were admitted by recommendations. The music is loud enough to make sure you can really get into it, but the room is set up so those that are there to socialize can still talk without yelling. The acoustics are legendary, but the place itself isn’t generally known. They have some of the best bands around play there but there is no guest list for their friends. They pay them well but have very high standards. The bar itself is one of the best. If you want it they have it. If they don’t it will only be once. The food is excellent. It won’t break you if you’re not part of elite but that’s because they have something for everyone. The employees are said to be the best. No one leaves by choice. The owner is said to have worked his way up and knows what it’s like to work hard. He expects the best and pays the best for it.”
She had been well informed. “You seem to know a lot about Knotrock’s. Are you looking for a job, are you a spy or just want to get in?”
She thought about it for a minute. “I was hoping to maybe do both. Get in and get a job that is. What would there be to spy on? I don’t have a lot of experience at that kind of place but I adapt well. I haven’t found anything that I can’t do yet but I’m far from having done it all. I just think it sounds like a great place to be. I don’t like to change jobs. I don’t want to work were it feels like a job. I want to like getting up in the morning. I also like to have a good time but hate the usual bar scene, Drinking is supposed to add to the fun, not be the fun. I hear they have some of the best pool tables made, a great dart board, card tables, and a seating area around the central fire pit that’s great for just relaxing.”
“Well let me tell you. The owner really is a nice guy. Like everyone he has his moments. That’s because he really cares about the place. It’s his life’s dream and he tries to make everyone that works there glad to be there. He’s been known to help out an employee or two with some of the problems that everyone runs into. He loves the place and tries to make everyone else love it just as much. The only reason it’s private is to keep out the trouble. You only get thrown out once.” I didn’t know how much I should tell her. Was she ever in for a surprise.
“It really does sound like the perfect place.” she said. She was staring at me with that look people get when they’re trying to figure something out.
“By the way, what’s your name” I asked.
“My friends call me Suze. It’s really Suzanne but that’s what my mother calls me when she’s mad.” she said with a grin.
“Suze... Okay. Well Suze, here we are.” I turned into what most people would have thought was a private drive. The gate was down and the guard came over with his clipboard. I rolled the window down.
“Good evening sir” he said. “Will you be here long?”
“Yes, I believe I will.. How’s the crowd tonight?” If anyone knew what the crowd was like it would be Bill. He had been the guard since day one. He had been hired straight out of the marines. He knew how to be friendly and civil under the worst circumstances. And absolutely no one got in that shouldn’t. He had that air about him that made people think twice before arguing with him, and if he said no you didn’t wait for him to make the point. Still, he did his job with a smile, that calm reassurance of a man that knew how to take care of things. Nothing flustered him.
“It’s not too bad tonight. About eighty or so. Mr. Blackburn is here with his wife. Jed brought in a friend for you to meet. Canyon’s playing tonight. Those guys are good. We’re running a little low on the filet tonight.” He knew everything that was going on, better than I did some times.
“Well, I’ll send someone out for more filet if they’re that low. Mr. Blackburn is okay but I need to talk to him about his wife” I said while signing in on the clipboard. “Is Tim here yet? I’ll send him down for a bit if you want to sit in with Canyon for a couple” I told him.
“Thank you sir. I’d like that.” He reached over and lifted the gate.
As I went up the drive I told Suze “Bill is not only one of the best security people you could ever have, he has a great singing voice. That would have been his second calling if I hadn’t hired him for this first.”
As I parked I could see the spark of realization in her eyes and a big smile on her face. “So you can get me in.... you think!” She said with a laugh. “I thought you knew a lot about the place.”
“I try not to get snooty. I don’t like people that think too much of themselves and I still remember what it’s like to work hard” I said sounding a little too much like a public relations ad. “That’s one of the first thing you’ll learn here. No one is better than you. Not me, not Bill, not Mr Blackburn, no one. This is a family of sorts. Nothing is perfect but I try to make sure it runs well. I cater to the rich, but one of my best customers is a working stiff from down the road at the pole factory. I don’t judge by money, but I certainly don’t hold it against people. That’s why everybody in here, workers and customers, are here by reference only. I meet all of them first. I spend at least a good hour with them just hanging out to see if they fit. I see how they treat the family, mine and theirs. I even test some of them. But you’re new here and I’m giving away all my secrets.”
She didn’t have to do much to make me talk did she. I felt like a little kid on his first date chattering away. What was it about her. It wasn’t just the looks. Those last about five minutes. Was it the smile? Some people you just gravitate to. I’d have to give her some real testing.
As we walked up to the door Melissa stepped out and opened the door for us.
“Melissa, meet Suze. She wants to hang for a little. Is anyone available to show her around? I have a few thing to take care of and I need a few minutes.” Melissa was the doorman and I mean “man oh man” and she was the First Inspector. If she said she didn’t like you, you didn’t stay long. I found she had an innate ability to judge people at a glance. She only made a mistake once that I know of. It was always my choice in the end , but her ability made her the first line of defense.
“How about Rene. I think he should have the time. He needs the practice too” she said. Rene had been with me for two years now. He was the original sound man for the entertainment but I tell people from minute one “I hire you to do what I need.” There are no real set jobs other than Bills but even he does other thing when needed. Even my chef Kristin does more than cook.
“Sounds good.” I said then turned to Suze. “I’m leaving you in capable hands. I’ll catch up in a bit. Feel free to ask questions. Try the place out.” Just then Rene stepped up.
“Rene, this is Suze. She’s looking for a home. Show her around.” I could see by the look in his eye that he wouldn’t mind that one bit. She did it to him too.
“Certainly!” he said with a big smile.
As they walked in I turned back to Melissa.
“So what is the verdict?” I asked.
“Judging by the smile on your face I’d say she’s in but I’m not sure” she said with a sound of reservation in her voice.
“You think she’s too much?” I hesitated.
“No, I think she’s one of those people that wraps people around her little finger and doesn’t even know she’s doing it.” She smiled and looked toward the door. “I think she has the looks and personality to go anywhere, but doesn’t know why.”
“You’re worried about her upsetting the barrel eh?” I was and I knew it.
“I think you should keep her, but remember the effect she has on you. As you like to tell us, think before you react.” She had her down pretty fast. And she was right.
I could see all the little puppies following her around now.
“Okay, we’ll give her a try. Start the process would you.” I said as I turned to go in.
“Okay Felix. She’ll get the full test and treatment. Good luck to us all” She turned and disappeared.
As I walked in I handed my coat to Edgar. He was one of those indispensable people that seemed to always be there when you needed him. He knew I was coming in so he got my coat. If I headed for a table he would have one for me at the ready. He already had the bar making me a drink.
“Edgar!” I always got a smile when I saw him. “Give me about a half hour and then order me some dinner please. Something light.”
“Right away Sir.” He had a way of being so formal yet making you feel like one of your buds. In fact he was one of my buds. But he took his job very seriously. He never cut loose during work. To him it was an obligation he had to me. He felt I had saved his life, and maybe I had, but it was a long time ago and he owed me nothing in my eyes.
“Mr. Blackburn is in the Pit. He’s expecting you.” How did Edgar know I planned to speak to Blackburn? Word must be out.
“I’ll take care of that first. Send my drink over there. Thanks” I said and headed for the pit.
Mr. Blackburn, Blacky to some, Mr. Money to others. He definitely was the type of customer I wanted to keep. He had more money than he knew what to do with and was great fun to have around. His wife was another subject. He stood up as I approached and turned to greet me. He didn’t look bothered even though he must know what I was coming to see him about.
“Felix, I’m glad you had time to see me. I know you wanted to talk to me. I need to apologize.
This is one of the things I liked about him. He was friendly but no nonsense. He knew what had been going on here with his wife without my telling him. I don’t know how he knew. His wife never brought in a guest. She was too close to being one herself. But people with his kind of money always seem to know what where and when their significant other is up to. Just then Sammy brought over my drink.
“Tommy, don’t worry about it. You know what the rules are. I know you’ll take care of any problems. Your wife is a beautiful woman but neither that or money lets her treat my people that way. Customers...friends are important here, but every one here is to be treated with a little respect. They work hard as you well know. If there is a problem with anyone here you know I will speak to them and take care of it, just as you would. Marsha seems to think that she deserves to be treated better than anyone else. We try to treat everyone like they’re that important. But she went too far. When any of the employees are here on their free time they get treated just like you. I know we’re a little casual around here but... I’m sorry. I know you weren’t here and I know you know how we run this place. Enough said. Can I buy you a drink?”
I’d made my point, maybe even a little too much. He was a good guy and his wife takes advantage of him and his money.
He tipped his head in thanks and said “Sure. How about one of those special MaiTai’s” \
I shook his hand and smiled and just then Sam showed up with his drink.
His smile grew as he said with surprise “Sammy! How did you know? Drop by when you get off and we’ll tip a few.”
Sam smiled and replied “Tommy, I’d like that. I got an idea for something and I think you’re the guy to talk to for it. I’ll be off in about an hour.”
One problem taken care of. I knew his wife wouldn’t be happy but she wouldn’t make it in the door without him next time. If it happened again with him there she wouldn’t be back at all. Tommy loved his wife but even he didn’t like her self important attitude.
Tommy had been brought up with money but his father had made him work when he was young so he would always know what it was like to be on the other side. He had been brought up by a loving family that knew that having money didn’t make you special. He learned to despise those that thought that way. He knew just how lucky he was. Not that he didn’t deserve every cent he had. He had work hard and it wasn’t long before he found himself making more money than his father. All by his own hands. But he never forgot what it took to get there and knew that not everyone had his luck. He had never had to worry, but he had worked with those that had.
He still remembered one of the guys he had worked with coming in one day looking all disheveled. Tommy asked him what was wrong.
“It’s my wife’s birthday. I was trying to earn a few extra bucks to buy her something special. She takes good care of me and deserves more than I can ever afford. I had this part time job fixing pallets for a warehouse. I knew that I had money coming so I had spent a little more of my regular pay. Big mistake” he said. “They never paid me. Then I was short for the rent and the phone.” He was looking totally dejected. “Next thing I know we’re being evicted. I haven’t had a shower in three days. I haven’t had a decent meal in a week. I don’t know how to get caught up.” He was almost crying. He was hurting and Tommy knew he would never be in that place.
“Have a seat and tell me about it. Maybe Felix and I can do something about your problem.” Tommy looked up at me and I nodded back.
I know all this sounds like something from The Godfather but it couldn’t have been less a mob thing. We just knew how to get people to help when needed. We never insisted. We requested. We never threatened. We suggested. Anyone with the right friends and enough of them can get most things taken care of.
“Tommy, I have a few things to do still. Tell me later what’s needed, names, places.” He would find out all he could. He may even have a few of his people find out what they can.
“‘Kay Felix, and thanks.” He tipped his head again as I left.
I headed into the kitchen to see how things were. Kristin was hard at work. She seemed to think I would be having dinner with Suz.
“I have a fresh batch of enchaladas in the oven, some avacado dip, a crisp salad and Sammy is making you another MaiTai and a da
To be continued...some day.
Here is another story I started but probably won't finish. Liked the idea but once I go to bed it's hard to get back into the whole idea. Hope you like what there is. All comments are welcome.
"Just what do you mean he isn't there?" I asked Jimmy was new to the job. He was a graduate of Stanford but had very little practical experience at this. Sure, he had spent his required two months during the summer as an "intern". This means he lived in a tent for six weeks at least five miles from the nearest Wal- Mart. He and twelve other students had followed teacher around looking for clues but had never had to capture, let alone hold a subject. "I mean that the little bugger is not in occupation of his cell. He is AWOL. He is not relieving his quest for denial of freedom in the manner we have designated for him" That was one of the things I did enjoy about Jimmy. He was able to hold his own, even with an old fart like me that took no crap and had seen it all, and survived. The fact that he had a British sense of humor was a gift. It was hard to actually yell at him when he started in with his John Chleese imitation. He knew I was a Monty Python fan though how I don't know. "Perhaps he didn't like the room service" I said trying to keep it light. "Maybe he's hiding from you." "Well, we do offer the finest accommodations available in portable mobility restraints" he said with a grin "and I didn't check under the bed" The PMR system was meant to keep the subject comfortable but give us immediate direct access to him...it, whatever. They were never held for very long but I understood their lack of patience with us. Put me in a cage and I'll do the same thing. "If he can get under there we don't need to feed him right away. Let's go have a look." I got up and headed in that direction. "We haven't given him anything yet, except a cup of... well, a bowl of coffee." He looked at me to see what my reaction would be. "You gave it to him in a bowl? Why not just put it on a paper plate?" It seemed to me a bowl was just making it harder to see how he eats. Yes I mean eats. The coffee was in the form of beans. He had an unnatural craving for them. I usually didn't give him any because it was like meth to him. It only took a few beans and he would be up for days. "I assume he got a little impatient after that, being all hyped up on beans." "Well, his reaction was different from when I gave him the Irish Whiskey" he said as he pulled out a pair of restraints. These things looked like they could hold him. "He started singing old John Cougarcamp songs. He sings rather well too." We walked out of out tent and headed for the large brown tent about thirty feet away. It wasn't like the subjects were prisoners so we did try to give them some privacy when we could. Only the finest in steel bars were used In their production. It didn't take long to verify that he/it wasn't there. It was a question though. Where had he gone and why? Why isn't normally a question when you are holding someone against their wishes, but none of them have ever tried to leave before. I think they want to be tested. I'm not sure who is testing whom though. The subjects don't volunteer. They don't run and hide from us either. The restraints are something we have used only because if we don't they have a tendency to just stand up and walk away whenever they want.
This one was started on the train. Fell asleep while writing. Didn't get far.
Another story started to pass time on the train. Have you ever been on a train for over an hour? Yeah, I fell asleep again.
No one knows. That was the only answer I could get. No one knew where it started or why. No one ever says “I was right there. I saw the whole thing.” And no one claims to have been the one to do it. No one is ever sure where they saw it first. They know it wasn’t always there and they’re sure it wasn’t doing that when they saw it the first time. No one can quite describe what it was doing ”but it wasn’t doing that!” Most people ask the same questions too. “How the hell does it do that?” and “Is it doing that on purpose?” But the big one is always “Why?” The other unexplainable part is how everyone has seen it but unless you happen to be looking at it that second you can’t be sure where it is. No one sees it come and no one sees it go. No one has ever managed to get a photo or a video of it either. There have been lots of cameras, but not one shutter click. Some people, even some who have seen it, claim it doesn’t really exist. But we all know it does. Everyone knows you must be crazy if you think it isn’t real. So now the big question is, how can I know enough about it to describe it to you? To be honest I can’t. I can tell you everything I have been told and everything about where I was the first time I saw it. I won’t even try to describe it in direct terms. I can tell you that it’s somewhere between five and twenty seven feet. I can’t tell you if that is tall or wide or both, but it might be neither. I do know that it makes things it touches extremely cold but No one is ever sure if it is cold itself.